What does the term "Taken in Hand" mean?
"Taken In Hand relationships are wholehearted sexually-exclusive marriages in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly in charge (to his wife's delight!)—and he always puts his wife and their relationship first. Putting her and the relationship first is the key to creating a marriage in which the man is in control in a good, healthy and sustainable way.Taken In Hand is neither all about the man, as in some D/s relationships in which the man has control, nor is it all about the woman, as in some DD relationships—it is for both. Neither spouse is a self-absorbed narcissist.The wives in Taken In Hand relationships tend not to claim to be submissive (though their husbands may well consider them to be so) but they do strongly prefer not to be the one in charge in their relationship, and they do respect, honour and appreciate their husbands and strive to please them.The husbands in Taken In Hand relationships tend not to claim to be dominant (though their wives may well consider them to be so) but they do strongly prefer to be the one wearing the trousers in their marriage, and they do enjoy dominating and submitting their wife when necessary to maintain their position—and indeed for the pure fun of it.Taken In Hand is about using the power of a white-hot sexual connection to create a rock-solid permanent bond between husband and wife. It is intended to be fun and sexy, not a duty or a burden. If you don't find the idea of Taken In Hand exciting or at least strangely attractive, it is not for you. Taken In Hand is not compulsory!"
- From the Taken in Hand website here
What does the term "CDD" mean?
"A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no "One Ring of Power" in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to "true DD enlightenment". What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.
A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.
Therefore, in a CDD marriage:
The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24.
The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her. See Eph. 5:25-29.
The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God's commands. See Titus 2:5, Acts 5:29.
He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife's counsel. Prov. 20:5
He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.
He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.
He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.
He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the "Four D's" (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices... reckless driving, disobeying doctor's orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking.
CDD is not a "magic pill", and this website does not claim CDD will prevent all marital rows. It is simply a tool, one method which many couples round the world feel is quite effective in strengthening their marriages, and improving the quality of their relationship.
CDD is the husband loving his wife enough to patiently guide and unselfishly cherish her.
CDD is the wife loving her husband enough to follow his leadership and trust his direction.
A Christian marriage should embody selfless love and true romance.
A Christian couple is to be a reflection of Jesus and His Bride."- From the CDD website here
As you can see, there are many similarities between these two types of marital relationships, but there are also some differences. What you will find referred to on this blog is a mixture of the two. There is no one right way to live out a CDD/TiH relationship, each couple decides for themselves how to interpret and apply these basic guidelines to their own lives in order to make it work for them.
In my next post, I will explain why this kind of lifestyle/relationship with my husband appealed to me and how I initially approached him with my request to make some major changes in our marriage.
In my next post, I will explain why this kind of lifestyle/relationship with my husband appealed to me and how I initially approached him with my request to make some major changes in our marriage.
HisTreasure
